A Link to the Past and Future

In anticipation of this post, I've stared at the intimidating text box of the blogger website for more than a few minutes. I found myself paralyzed with the prospect and unspoken challenge to say something meaningful, insightful, important. Blogs, websites, news, and musings are an investment in precious hours that won't ever return and the onus then falls to the author to ensure that those who sacrificed their time and effort to entertain another's thoughts are adequately rewarded.

This, sadly, won't be such a post.

This week, I found myself actively distancing myself from sources of conflict and negativity. One aspect of my character I've long wrestled with is my tendency to shy away from conflict. We all bear certain crosses and mine, if may be so called, was a childhood full of such incessant and destructive arguments; as an adult, I've resolved never to be involved in such fights (a) if I can avoid it and, (b) unless somehow directly relevant to me. Some coworkers, whom I won't name, thrive on dissecting and enumerating the reasons why their jobs are absolutely miserable and how they actively debate finding other means of employment. I, on the other hand, am not so cynical to believe this. Nonetheless, I find myself struggling to balance polite refusal to encourage such oppressive negativity and my own personal needs for optimism in a small staff. It's an ongoing struggle that will, unfortunately, only get worse as the agency moves into the stressful and hectic energy assistance season next week.

Chavonne and I are continuing to refine and clean up our relationship, treating it like a delicate artifact that requires patience, care, and tenderness. We're working on becoming even better friends, sharing common interests (including besting the world-eater Galactus yesterday evening), and exploring new interests (like our long-forgotten quest for the perfect pizza in Pittsburgh). These, of course, are similarly never-ending endeavors and challenges that I can only hope we'll one day be the equal of.

As always, I intend to retain my optimism, my sense of justice, and abiding love for family and friends as sword and shield in the trenches of daily life against the challenges advocacy and the minutiae of daily defeats.

This past week ramped up in activity preceptibly. One of my clients saw success in finding work in telemarketing, and he was deeply proud of himself, as I was too. I also had an opportunity to canvass the Allentown neighborhood to raise awareness of the Hilltop Alliance's forthcoming community forums, which are raised at generating dialogue about local issues and broaching the discussion of potential solutions. The pantry wasn't especially busy, serving eighteen families that translated to a total of fifty-one individuals. Those numbers should dramatically increase by Thursday as Brashear has agreed to serve as an emergency pantry for clients who patronize agencies closed as a result of the impending G20 conference. Brashear board members and staff also got involved in a strategic planning retreat over the weekend to discuss the direction, philosophy, and future of the agency. Although it was a long experience on a beautiful summer day, it was constructive and very positive.

On Friday night, Raji and I experienced our first Pittsburgh Pirates game through their "All You Can Eat" Seats promotion; we mostly fasted and resisted eating all day in order to maximize our performance at the game and I, rather disgustingly in retrospect, put away five hot dogs, three boxes of popcorn, five Pepsis, a burger, a half bad of peanuts, and an ice cream sandwich. PNC Park was absolutely beautiful and surprisingly engaging and intimate; Raji and I sat directly behind the right field foul pole where we witnessed the end of the pierogi race, the heartbreak of a budding ultimate fan as he failed to catch a foul ball (stolen by an adult, who in turn gave it to an elderly woman), and heard the cowbells and catcalls of devoted and cynical fans. In fact, the Pirates managed to win that evening convincingly 5-1.

Chavonne and I experienced our first week apart from one another in a sense. Since she has transitioned to her new position in shelter advocacy, she awakes an hour earlier than I and leaves work an hour before, compounding the lack of face time we experience due to school and internship. However, this weekend we tried to combine our sense of responsibility around the house and our need for companionship by doing nearly all we could together, including cleaning out sink drains in the bathroom (which had not been cleaned since before we moved in, judging by the color and length of the hair we found!), combing our house for important documents, taking in the cinema ("Meet the Robinsons," creepy at times and fairly adult, but still worth seeing), and saving the world.

Finally, football season has begun in earnest and the Dallas Cowboys opened their season in style last night at the most lavish and overwhelming structures ever seen; however, Tony Romo sadly forgot to show up for the game, horrible for my IRL football heart yet rousing for my fantasy team, the 2-0 Scarlet Pimpernels.

The low this morning in Pittsburgh was fifty-two degrees. Calls for Dollar Energy are ramping up, as are visitors to the food pantry. Chavonne and I are seeing less and less of each other and my beloved debating wearing a sweater this morning. Yes, autumn, and all that it portends, is nearly upon us.

This week at work, the trend of quiet anxiety continued. I saw only a handful of clients, who seem to encounter as their biggest barrier intake processes at the Department of Public Welfare. The food pantry again ran out of food this week, necessitating clients to make a return trip on Thursday; however, we only managed to serve sixteen families this entire week, which I can't remember a time we've served fewer people. Predicting how many people will utilize our pantry in a day is akin to anticipating jazz rhythms for the very first time, but it's a relief to see that our wares aren't being stretched too far this week.

After the rather pleasant fundraiser at Joseph-Beth Booksellers last weekend (again, many thanks to the staff of JB for promoting our Holiday Assistance Program), I'm anxiously awaiting our staff retreat next week. The Board intelligently decided to dissect our service provision, staff structure, and agency mission through a series of focus groups, culminating in this retreat next weekend (inconveniently, a day after I've scheduled to take off to attend my first Pirates game and my second MLB game, lifetime). This should be a good opportunity to honestly and effectively confront how we do business and how we can improve ourselves and our service to our clients, although I'd much prefer not to sacrifice a Saturday to do it.

School continues, much as it has for these nigh two decades. My class isn't particularly difficult (in fact, I've already completed the reading for next week, five days early!), but it continues to feel like I'm biding time until I can really start my career and start reaping some of the benefits adulthood in earnest.

Patterns in my gaming as of late have become erratic and unpredictable. In the past week, I'm dipped my toes into Marvel vs. Capcom 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and came this close to buying the XBLA version of Phantasy Star II. Despite my claims to the contrary, I seem to be emphatically not playing Dragon Quest IV nor any handheld game. Although I don't have a project that I'm currently working on other than mopping up achievement points that have strayed from my grasp, I'm okay with that for the moment. As most of the games I've been anxious to play have nervously bowed out of the holiday spotlight frantically seeking the relative anonymity of 2010 (FFXIII, Arc Rise Fantasia), I've taken another, closer look at my existing collection of games and have begun to work to wring entertainment from even its depths. However, that being said, Bowser's Inside Story will almost assuredly be purchased within the next week.

Chavonne and I and our life together is continuing to be like an elegant symphony. We've continued to be attentive, interested, and good-natured partners to one another and have had several simple and lovely moments together this week. We've recommitted ourselves to spending more time with one another, especially as she will soon be transitioning into a new position where she will report for work at 8a, an hour earlier than myself. We started a maddeningly complex 1,000-piece puzzle this week, had a couple of cooked-with-love meals, worked to save the world from Dr. Doom, and watched in stunned disbelief as Hines Ward was stripped of a game-winning touchdown. Especially on a day like today, we continue to acknowledge that our time together is precious.

This week has been mostly slow, as the rest of the summer. I met with only a couple of clients and didn't have a major project to occupy my time with. My clients are mostly stable and are working, or pursuing work, so there's not a whole lot to worry about in that regard. I did have a dream a couple nights ago about an energy assistance appointment, which is never a good thing. The food pantry has improved markedly because I have (finally) a wonderful new volunteer who is positive, competent, and reliable. It's been absolutely the best news I could have ever gotten, at least work-related news.

Chavonne and I are doing our best to enjoy one another's company, especially as school as begun again for both of us. My retread Diversity class looks relatively painless and although I'm frustrated to be not moving forward as quickly as I like academically, I'm also somewhat grateful for the relaxed schedule. I'm slated to graduate December of 2011, which sounds forever away. Next semester, I'm grappling with either taking multiple classes in order to catch up or immediately beginning another field placement, which is going to be horrible to negotiate with my wife, my supervisor, my time, my car, and my sanity, but should pay off in the long run. Stay tuned.

Other than a brief foray into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:Re-Shelled with Raji Thursday evening, I haven't gamed appreciably in over a week. DQIV hasn't yet become a compelling narrative, nor do I expect it to, really. Now that the weather has become more reasonable, I can also consider returning to the attic to play some console (Xbox 360) games; ether way, between school, the impending holiday rush, and the onset of bitter cold, my gaming production and my chances for realizing my new year's resolution of mastering twenty-five games seem more remote.

As the circle of life turns, however, and as my ability and passion for gaming wanes, my anticipation for football grows ever stronger. Last night, my fantasy football league had its draft and I'm cautiously optimistic about my chances this year. It's my fourth year participating and the finest performance I've ever mustered is fifth in a league of ten. This year, I drafted dead last and I have (in order):

Larry Fitzgerald
Drew Brees
Steve Slaton
Wes Welker
Steve Slaton
Pierre Thomas (a misclick due to timing out)
Percy Harvin
Chicago
Minnesota
Beanie Wells
Willie Parker
Derrick Mason
Josh Brown
Chad Pennington

During the draft, I was nervous and anxious constantly but in the cold light of day, I feel significantly better about my team. Hopefully I can parlay some explosive offense into at least a playoff appearance. I'm deeply saddened about not having any Cowboys on my roster, but this is, of course, fantasy. It says nothing of my real ardor for the team of my ancestral homeland.

Fall is upon us, of course, and that means more nights close to someone you love. Enjoy those last dying rays of sunlight before the streets are thick with slush.